note #16: in praise of friendships

Randomly i find myself in a concert, the first band playing, people we met last night and they mentioned this gig and there we were. I can see the musician's friend at the edge of the stage, central first row cheering for her friend and that touches my heart. It makes me think of parents watching their kids on stage performing at a school play or concert and their dedication and love and steadfast support no matter what no matter where. These are our friends. One thing or another brings us together, we meet, strangers we find ourselves attracted to. Chemistry happens, we click, we grow to love each other. We are there for one another for the biggest life moments and for an afternoon beer with a smoke, a walk. Consciously or unaware, we take the time to get to know them and invest in relationships through time and space.

My (a) friend(s) was there for my dropping out of school, a late night drive to locate my uncle in hospital after a midnight car crash 3 hours away, my eventual graduation, my silly rantings, my abortion, my favorite tv show, my mother’s sickness, my marriage, my joy, my self doubt, my sadness, my madness. My friend was there to love me, take care of me, forgive me, give me another chance, guide me, entertain me, assure me, push me, challenge me. My friend was there to drive me crazy, sometimes bore me, make me angry, make me dig deeper into myself, challenge my patience, hurt me. Break my heart. Enrich my life. Thank you.

Friends/friendships come in all sorts of shapes and forms. Some friends are older, younger and our exact age, some are closer than others, some are for a lifetime, some friendships end for no obvious reason, some are bad friendships and our good friendships help us through them. Some friends are lovers, or x-lovers, maybe future lovers. I think most friendships are romantic, all of them involve love, and some grow with age, and some help us grow. Some get stuck and take us on nostalgic trips of time. Some friends become family. Some family become friends. Nothing beats a good friendship.

Interminglers of life.

Friends can come in one, two, three, ∞

Friends do not come easy.

A friend can be an animal.

Friends are choosing to be friends.

a close friend: companion, soul mate, intimate, confidante, confidant, familiar, alter ego, second self, playmate, playfellow, classmate, schoolmate, workmate; ally, associate; sister, brother; best friend, kindred spirit, bosom buddy, bosom friend; informal pal, chum, sidekick, crony, main man, mate, buddy, bud, amigo, compadre, homeboy, homegirl, homie, dawg, gal pal, BF, BFF; informal, plural peeps;

Hi! My bbff.

The words are not enough

مرادفات كلمة صَدِيق: ألِيف، أَثِير، أَلِيف، أَنِيس، إلف، إِلْف، تَحَنَّن، تِرْب، جَلِيس، حَبِيب، حَنَا، حَنّ، خَدِين، خَلِيل، خِدْن، خِلّ، رَفِيق، زَمِيل، سَمِير، شَقِيق، صَاحِب، صَفِيّ، عَزِيز، عَشِير، عَطَف، قَرِين، قُرّة عين، قِتْل، قِرْن، لُدّ، مَحْبُوب، مُؤَانِس، مُؤْنِس، مُخَادِن، مُسَامِر، مُصاحِب، مُصَاحِب، نَجِيّ، نَدِيم، وَلِيّ

(NOTE: the synonyms for friend in arabic include loved one, a beloved, a brother/sister, an apple of an eye)

My friends (a friend) allow me into their worlds, into their intimate places of their mind, heart, bodies, and homes and relationships and memories and families. They share their lives with me. Share their families and friends. We make our lives together. Sometimes face to face, hand in hand, sometimes over long emails, over skype, over telepathy. Sometimes regularly, sometimes irregularly, each friendship is different and the sweet thing about friendship is that in its definition there is space for each one of us, friendships do not try to merge the bodies and soul and in the absence of curiosity we are allowed to part ways.

When my friend’s sister passed away, i lost a part of me.

When my friend passed away, i lost my home.

When my friend brought a friend along my world got bigger.

When my friend came to visit, i wanted to make my best spaghetti sauce. And drink a whole bottle.

When my friend brought/will bring a baby into the world, i love her [the baby] just because the baby is hers.

I was reading the other day, a random article in a random magazine, and it said: something something “to your friends, colleagues and loved ones.” Fuck this. As a matter of fact, the dictionary says the origin of the word friend is to love. My friends are loved ones. This separation seems common and easy although it does not make sense at all. Friends, good friends, are very much loved ones. Actually it is beautiful when lovers become friends and family members become friends. I am struggling with what feels to me like romantic-couple supremacy.

Good friends compare to nothing.

Good friends are amazing.

Good friends are a treasure.

I hate it when a person is described as single when all one has to see is that friend by their side, sharing a pizza (maybe two), watching films, talking about health, helping with the baby, being intimate, physically present, with no money boundaries, their name as the emergency contact. That person is not single.

Cheers to all my friends.

All the friends that keep me company on the journey of life (and the Rocca Family Road Trip, all the connections to hang out, open homes, recommendations for food, farewell parties, welcome parties, sweet introductions, and check ins.)

I LOVE YOU.